Gone Camping
by shifter-of-time
Summary: When Naruto, Gaara, Kiba, Temari, Sakura, and Hinata are all on a camping trip, what hapens when they tell scarry stories? GaaSaku ShikaTema NaruHina. WARNINGS: Crack-fic, sugestive themes, very mild language. Rated T to be safe.


Temari: You and Weaver were on crack again, weren't you?

Shifter of Time: Probably. If you think that this is bad, then check out "Fears with the Akatsuki". There's even more crack there.

Weaver of Light: There is. Shifter does not own any characters used in this story.

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**Gone Camping**

Gaara, Sakura, Temari, Naruto, Hinata, and Kiba were all out camping in the woods. At the moment, they were sitting around a campfire telling scary stories.

"It was a dark and stormy night," Gaara began in a creepy voice, "when out of the shadows stalked the most horrible, disfigured, unnatural thing you can imagine. It was…it was…it was…-"

"JUST TELL US, DAMNIT!" Kiba yelled impatiently.

"It was a pink unicorn!" Gaara said as he screamed in horror.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? A PINK UNICORN!?" Kiba exclaimed.

"That was weak, dude," Naruto commented.

"Gaara, I love you and all, but honestly, a pink unicorn? Is that the best that you can do?" Sakura asked, wondering why she was dating this guy.

"I'm not _really_ related to this guy," Temari assured them. "Technically, Kankuro and I are adopted."

"They're PINK. It's just not natural," Gaara said quietly.

"You read Stephen King novels on the roof… outside… at night… by yourself… on a full moon and aren't even fazed, yet _pink unicorns_ scare you?" Sakura ranted to herself, not understanding Gaara's logic at all.

"Umm…umm…could I try?" Hinata mumbled.

"Greeeeaaaat…" Temari said, rolling her eyes.

_Gaara thinks that pink unicorns are scary,_ Sakura thought. _Let's see what she comes up with._

"This is going to be so fucking boring!" Kiba blurted out.

"GO FOR IT BABY!" Naruto screamed.

"It is a dark and stormy night," Hinata began quietly, "when I turn and see your face," she continued, her voice gaining more confidence and horror. "My vision becomes contorted with anger and rage as you smile." Her voice was now worthy of a horror movie narrator and her eyes glowed red. "So I curse you with a million curses!" she continued as she stood up dramatically. "'Go to the deepest depths of Hell and the brink of eternal suffering and damnation!' I yell as you scream and writhe in pain and your body disintegrates." Fire erupted behind her as she said, "And I laugh a dark, evil, heartless laugh." She threw her arms up in the air. "MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!" All of her features suddenly returned to normal and she shyly said, "Was that okay?"

Naruto gave her a thumbs-up as the others stared in amazement. Kiba was the first to recover from the shock.

"THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!" he yelled as Hinata beamed.

"Wow, Hinata! I didn't think that you were capable of being so evil!" Gaara said in amazement and shock.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" Sakura said, surprised that Hinata could be this evil.

"She could be the next Stephen King!" Temari commented in amazement. The others all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Back off, she's mine!" Naruto said possessively as he hugged Hinata tightly & kissed her in order to prove his point.

"Get a room, you two!" Gaara called to them. "That's what Sakura and I do, anyways."

Sakura blushed and said, "Gaara! You weren't supposed to tell them that!" Gaara only grinned.

"Maybe later," Naruto said mischievously, causing Hinata to blush.

Kiba chose that moment to say the craziest thing in the world. "Will you marry me Temari?"

"WHAT THE HELL! I'M GETTING MARRIED TO SHIKAMARU IN FOUR DAYS, YOU PERV!" Temari exclaimed, slapping him.

"I know," Kiba said, rubbing the red spot where she had slapped him. "I just wanted to see your reaction."

"What the hell Kiba?" Naruto asked confused.

"I was bored." Kiba defended himself.

"Speaking of your wedding," Hinata said, effectively changing the subject, "shouldn't you be back at the village with Shikamaru making last minute wedding plans?"

"Yes, but his mom scares her," Gaara cut in.

"She's making me wear WHITE! Out of all the colors in the world, she's making me wear WHITE!" Temari exclaimed.

"Well, you are still a virgin, right?" Gaara asked her.

"Yes, but that's not the point!" she yelled at her brother.

"She could've made you wear pink," Hinata pointed out. Temari hated pink more than she hated any other color.

"That's even worse! I wanted to wear red, not white. It's not fair. It's not her wedding, it's mine!" Temari whined, pouting.

"On a lighter note, aren't you glad that you and Shikamaru will finally be married?" Sakura asked.

"Oh my gosh, yes I am. Speaking of weddings, Gaara and Naruto, aren't you forgetting something?" she said.

"Oh yeah!" they replied in unison.

They took Sakura and Hinata in separate directions, leaving Temari and Kiba alone (A/N: Not good. . .). Temari just looked at Kiba, who seemed like he had something in mind.

"Don't even think about it," she said.

"Damn it! You women take all the fun away!!" he complained.

"We try our hardest," Temari replied, smirking at him. This was going to be an eventful camping trip, indeed.

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Shifter of Time: Thanks for taking the time to read this tiny story.

Weaver of Light: Yeah. We came up with it in about an hour in a car. We were bored and this is what happens when we get bored.

Shifter of Time: We write crack-fics. Well, leave a review & stay tuned for our next dose of crack. Bye!


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